If you give me enough time

I’ll tell you

How I find ways to sabotage myself

How I find ways to believe you hate me

How I find ways to believe you find me disgusting

And yet,

I do, I do, love all my sins

And I know you believe in your sins too

How can such things matter,

When such beautiful moments exist in the medium

When understanding happens in the purest moments

If you give me enough time

I’ll tell you

How beauty lives in the monstrous

How we can define the skin and the flesh

How it only matters if you place currency on the custom

And I know, oh how I know

That we must validate ourselves before the door of society

How we must find within ourselves reasoning

How we must lay before our community, our best excuse

If you give me enough time

I’ll tell you

Why I fall the way I do

Why I die slowly in the errors of my ways

How I find myself telling you words I swore to never say

When I’m moving in ways that all give stares and a frown

Do you know what I do?

And so,
I do, I do, breathe the words so deeply

If you could only feel the pleasure with me

Touch close enough to feel the heartbeat

Hold on long enough to feel the skin prickle at the warmth

Move yourself close enough to feel the air move

If you give me enough time

I’ll tell you

How to dance in the ecstasy

How to feel the love still denied you

Why everyone stares at you with furrowed brows

Oh I see, I see how they do fear

When you rejoice in the wild and reach to the untamed

When you listen to the whispers in the corners of the garden

How you look for the old ones reaching, seeping around the corners

How you do know the deep chimes of the crone

When you do craft upon the ways of the future knowing

I’ll tell you

How it is done upon the beats of the current drum

How she thrives within the swirl of love and disgust

Why they do reject and reach for she which defies

Oh I breathe, oh how I breathe

The end to which this fire burns

How I reach to the unaccepted desires

How I know I am the least to which I want most

How I stay here, contemplating my prescribed fate

She of the devilish, They of the pitied longing